Unplanned Pregnancy

It’s one of those phrases that’s not pleasant to deal with in theory, and when it actually happens to you or someone you love it can be a source of anguish, fear, and pain. A woman or girl facing a pregnancy she didn’t want might feel all alone, unsupported. Perhaps she feels like a little bit of herself has died, because the woman she sees herself being -- the real self of what she wants to be -- doesn’t involve being a mother -- at least not right now. Abortion is never an easy way out, but when faced with that situation, she might feel like abortion is the preferable option.

What she needs to know first of all is that she does not have to go through this experience alone. Pennsylvania has centers in every county statewide, that provide free services to thousands of women and girls each year facing this same situation. Confidential, nonjudgmental counseling is provided, along with material help and medical assistance.

Here are just a few of the issues someone with unwanted pregnancy might be facing:

1) “My boyfriend says he’ll pay for an abortion, but he doesn’t want to pay to help raise the child.”
Well, he may or may not know this, but that isn’t an option for him to choose. If you are willing to have the baby, then the child’s father is legally obligated to provide for the child until age 18, and the state will enforce that if he doesn’t want to fulfill his responsibility willingly. If he got you pregnant, he has no right to abandon you now.

2) “I’m just not ready to be a mother now. If I have an abortion, then I can wait to have a child when I am out of college and more established in life.”
Giving birth doesn’t have to mean the death of your dreams of who you want to be in life. More than 2 million couples in America today are hoping to adopt a baby, and one of them would be ready now, and willing to give your child a loving home and a chance for a good life. It’s not that placing a child in an adoptive home is easy, but many women who have experienced it have said that the pain of separation from the child they carried was less than the pain of losing a child to abortion. Counselors are also available who would help you through the process of adoption and help you find peace with the decision afterward. And if you want to keep the child, free assistance is available. You’re not alone; and although raising a child is difficult and challenging, with others standing by you, you can do it.

3) “I don’t want my parents or other people to find out I got pregnant.”
That’s a difficult situation, but not an impossible one. When people find out you’re pregnant, they might be disappointed for you; but so many women and girls who thought they couldn’t handle that situation of telling others have found that they actually could, and that their loved ones still loved them. Pregnancy help counselors are available who can sit down with you and your family, in a setting that makes you feel comfortable, and help you talk things out in a way that helps your loved ones understand all the complexities of your situation.

You don’t have to feel all alone … there is help.

If you need someone to talk to now:

Pennsylvania toll-free pregnancy help hotline:
Real Alternatives
1-888-LIFE-AID

National toll free pregnancy help hotlines:
CareNet: 1-800-395-HELP

Heartbeat International: 1-800-712-HELP

Or click here to find a local center in your county