Itís one of those phrases
thatís not pleasant to deal with in theory, and when it actually happens to
you or someone you love it can be a source of anguish, fear, and pain. A
woman or girl facing a pregnancy she didnít want might feel all alone,
unsupported. Perhaps she feels like a little bit of herself has died,
because the woman she sees herself being -- the real self of what she wants
to be -- doesnít involve being a mother -- at least not right now. Abortion
is never an easy way out, but when faced with that situation, she might feel
like abortion is the preferable option.
What she needs to know
first of all is that she does not have to go through this experience alone.
Pennsylvania has centers in every county statewide, that provide free
services to thousands of women and girls each year facing this same
situation. Confidential, nonjudgmental counseling is provided, along with
material help and medical assistance.
Here are just a few of
the issues someone with unwanted pregnancy might be facing:
1) ďMy boyfriend says
heíll pay for an abortion, but he doesnít want to pay to help raise the
Well, he may or may not know this, but that isnít an option for him to
choose. If you are willing to have the baby, then the childís father is
legally obligated to provide for the child until age 18, and the state will
enforce that if he doesnít want to fulfill his responsibility willingly. If
he got you pregnant, he has no right to abandon you now.
2) ďIím just not ready
to be a mother now. If I have an abortion, then I can wait to have a child
when I am out of college and more established in life.Ē
Giving birth doesnít have to mean the death of your dreams of who you want
to be in life. More than 2 million couples in America today are hoping to
adopt a baby, and one of them would be ready now, and willing to give your
child a loving home and a chance for a good life. Itís not that placing a
child in an adoptive home is easy, but many women who have experienced it
have said that the pain of separation from the child they carried was less
than the pain of losing a child to abortion. Counselors are also available
who would help you through the process of adoption and help you find peace
with the decision afterward. And if you want to keep the child, free
assistance is available. Youíre not alone; and although raising a child is
difficult and challenging, with others standing by you, you can do it.
3) ďI donít want my
parents or other people to find out I got pregnant.Ē
Thatís a difficult situation, but not an impossible one. When people find
out youíre pregnant, they might be disappointed for you; but so many women
and girls who thought they couldnít handle that situation of telling others
have found that they actually could, and that their loved ones still loved
them. Pregnancy help counselors are available who can sit down with you and
your family, in a setting that makes you feel comfortable, and help you talk
things out in a way that helps your loved ones understand all the
complexities of your situation.
You donít have to feel
all alone Ö there is help.
If you need someone to
talk to now:
Pennsylvania toll-free pregnancy
National toll free pregnancy help
Heartbeat International: 1-800-712-HELP
here to find
a local center in your county